Single Mother: What To Expect
There have always been families in which only one parent was present. Raising children as a single mother is difficult. You have to give more of yourself, both financially and emotionally. You will also face problems, but you can raise your children on your own.
It can be a decision of your own or a turn of fate to experience motherhood as a single mother.
Sometimes the other parent dies or the father acts irresponsibly. All of this can lead to a woman becoming a single mother .
Raising children alone is not easy. It is a real challenge. But there have always been single mothers too.
Millions of women have managed to raise happy and loved children as single mothers.
These children later became fulfilled adults who knew how to love and were happy.
Single mother: an important decision
Motherhood is a wonderful but at the same time complex phase of life. If the woman can count on the support of her partner, the path is a little flatter. But that doesn’t always happen.
A toxic relationship does not serve as the best role model for the child. There are many women who continue their pregnancy even after they have decided to separate from the father of the child.
There are also women who have been abandoned by irresponsible partners.
Even if the opportunity to become a single mother was not in their plans when they entered the relationship and they are full of doubts, they accept the challenge with courage and love.
On the other hand, more and more women are opting for artificial insemination in order to realize their dream of motherhood.
They are disappointed in the men or have not yet found the right partner, but their biological clock is already ticking very loudly.
Challenges that await a single mother
If you chose to raise your child on your own, you are now a single parent family. The absence of the father must not stigmatize the children. Certainly there will be problems, but there are also solutions.
It is now up to you that your children grow up healthy, loved, and happy.
This is undoubtedly more difficult when you are single, but it is not impossible. The basic recommendations for organizing yourself in your role as a single mother are as follows:
Organize your support network
You may not be all alone. Think about who accompanied you during pregnancy. Your parents, siblings, cousins, and friends are your supporters.
If your partner abandoned you and the baby, don’t let depression overwhelm you. There is probably more than one person around you who is happy that you have a baby and who will help you with all possible means.
Some help more, others less, but everyone stands by you and supports you in your task.
Organize your work, your time and your budget
If you have to pay for all of your baby’s expenses, there is little left to improvise. You have to split yourself between work, being a child, and being a mother.
You have to make sure that you can still take care of your obligations as a mother despite working hours . The little ones have to go to kindergarten or school, to the doctor and much more.
Your earnings must also cover all of your child’s basic needs : food, clothing, education, health, and leisure.
You should make a schedule that doesn’t stress you too much. Everything in good time, so that both the duties are fulfilled and the fun is not lacking.
Give yourself enough time for things that don’t work out the way you want them to. What we haven’t done today, we can do it tomorrow.
Prepare for the big question
Don’t be surprised if you ask about the child’s father. There’s no point in grieving or harming your child about it.
If you’ve been involved in artificial insemination, then you need to be able to talk about it. One day you will naturally have to explain the question of fatherhood to your child too .
If your partner has passed away or you are separated, you need to be able to talk about it without being overwhelmed by the feelings.
It may take time, but at some point you will be able to answer the question without anger or pain. You will have to talk about your children’s father often , especially with the children !
Avoid discrediting or blaming him
If the relationship between you and the child’s father went badly, avoid feeling frustrated, angry, or resentful from overpowering you and making you blame the children.
You are not responsible for breaking the partnership.
Your children have a right to know where they come from. You should provide them with the most accurate and neutral information possible. Avoid influencing negative attitudes towards the father.
Even if you have a hard time accepting it, this man is 50% responsible for your child’s birth.
Let them know about their origins and give them the freedom to make their own decisions. This is especially true for children who arise from artificial insemination. Sooner or later they want to know who and where their father is.
Practice forgiveness
It’s easy to say, but the reality is that it’s hard to forgive an absent father. This process takes time.
At first you just say it like this: “I forgive you”, but a long time later you only realize that you have managed to forgive.
If your partner has passed away or left you, then you need to forgive not only him, but yourself as well. There are times when you suddenly feel guilty.
It was your decision to have a child with this person. With this decision, you are now experiencing the miracle of motherhood. So better forgive yourself!
Once you’ve forgiven yourself, you’re also helping your child, their father, and you to forgive. Forgiveness is an expression of great love that connects you and your child. That’s the most important.
Seek specialized help
A super mother is not one who can do everything. She knows when she needs help. If you need psychological help to help you and your children cope with the father’s absence, seek it!
There are a thousand good reasons why it is not a good idea to have a home for dark feelings deep in your heart. Family therapy can help you solve problems.
If you don’t have the money for such therapy, find support groups in your area.
Final remark
Even if you cannot replace the father’s absence, you can still give the best of yourself as a single mother.
To raise children alone you need twice as much love, patience, understanding and a sense of responsibility. It’s hard, but you can. One day your kids will thank you.
